we are all unique

We are all so different, there are 7 billion people on this planet and I don’t think there is another one out there like me. Not exactly like me any way.

We find friendships with those who are like us in some ways, our shared interests or experiences.

I have found support recently in a group for cluster headache sufferers. I have been given some invaluable advice, some genuine compassion and made some true friends.

But in recent weeks I have felt like I don’t belong, like I’m too different from the members of the cluster headache group.

This is mainly because of my recent diagnosis of Addison’s disease which has been slightly all consuming, dominating my day to day health. But also because I find myself frustrated, not just with cluster headaches but with life itself. I don’t feel like I fit into any box, like I am like anyone else in any way.

I have labels that make me ‘the same’ as other people… that’s helps sometimes… being able to relate to someone who knows what it feels like.

But you can’t just be that one label in isolation; I’m not just a cluster headache suffer. There are so many other labels that define me and make me who I am and that effects my experience of being a cluster headache patient.

My frustration at the moment is that some people assume that when you wear a label, you must fit into that box wholly and completely. We are not all the same, we don’t all experience things in the same way.

I bet a few women out there would agree that one pregnant woman is not the same as another pregnant woman for example.

It’s hard for me as I compare myself to others, they have cluster headaches the same as me, but they manage to work, have kids, stay at university. I get myself really upset, but then I remember…

 They don’t have cluster headache’s like me, no one experiences cluster headaches like me, we all experience them differently.

I knew this obviously; I even studied labelling theory at university once or three times! But I think it’s really important to remember two things

• Just because we wear the same labels, whatever that label is, it does not mean we are the same, or our experiences are the same… we are as unique as the stars
• Don’t compare yourselves to others based on who or what you are, you may have the same label but the rest of you affects how your wear this label.

I may feel defined by the host of medical labels attached to me at the moment… but its nice to remember I am unique.