Living in a box

I'm living in a box.  I'm trapped here, it's not my choice. There is a door but most of the time it's locked. I don't have the key, no one does. There are doctors and scientists looking for it but until they find it I'm trapped.  I can see out of the box, it's all glass, the whole world is out there to be seen in glorious technicolor. But sometimes I can choose to hide the world going by by pressing a button. Sometimes it just hurts too much to see what I can't be part of. Would you want to see that?

The biggest problem is that no one can see the box. They see me but not the box. They want me to do things outside of the box, simple things like walk to the bathroom and take a shower or something big like go out for dinner. They don't understand that I can't get out. They think I don't want to get out... Can't they see me banging the glass screaming and crying because I'm desperate to get out.

Worse still the box sometimes hides me altogether, makes me invisible to every one. It's like the world forgets about me, like I never existed.

But I have my ways of beating the box. I have so much time on my hands stuck in the box that I've remembered how to appreciate the important things in life.

First trick- my wife can get in and out of the box. She can help me when I'm stuck, entertain me and comfort me. She can leave but she can't get me out. She can bring me food and clothes but I can't get out to do these things for myself. Not everyone has someone who can get in and love them.

 I've taken time to actually listen to music, not just chuck on a playlist to listen to for 20minutes on the way to work. I actually listen to the lyrics, explore whole albums rather than just the tracks I like. I used to do this as a teenager, then life took over, work and studies and family.... I know that's the inevitable life of an adult but that has been taken from me so I'm going to make the most of this chance to be 'young' again.

We've started cooking and dieting... I know not a usual combination. We have made some spectacular food, and by we I mean I do what I can when I can... I'm a good head chef bossing and directing! We have read the 101 cook books that were previously decorations in our kitchen. Our latest thing is a worldwide food challenge, learning more about cuisines from around the world.  Oh and I'm 3&1/2 stone lighter than I was! Not bad...take that box!

I take time to talk to and see friends when the box opens the door. But I'll let you into a secret... I've got wifi in my box and thanks to FaceTime and skype people can get in the box with me and give me a virtual hug! Never take your friends for granted... And by that I mean your real friends. The ones who for some reason are not controlled by the box. They never forget that you exist, always understand that you want to be out of the box when you can't get out and wait patiently for the door to open.

Nature is beautiful.... Don't forget that. Yes an I pad is pretty spectacular, I phones are bloody marvellous and can do everything, the latest series of the latest good thing is amazing too... But stop and look up. Look at the rain on a window pane, look at the sun setting on your way home. Look at how beautiful the people around you are. Actually look at them. Isn't it amazing how beautifully unique we all are. It's the small things... I take more photos now too. Photos are memories. Memories are priceless. Memories are actually all we have in the end, it's all people have of us when we are gone... Make good ones.

I'm trying so hard to escape the box, I'm making the best of my time while I'm trapped in the box and on the days the door opens... I get out and I live. I'm making memories...

#makememories #fighting #winning