Steroids… friend or foe?

I hate steroids. They ruined my body, They ruined my body image, they made me a little ‘bat crap crazy’ at times. I will avoid them at all costs.

I am grateful for steroids. On many occasions they have been the only thing that has saved me from endless pain. Despite the negatives I have no doubt that steroids saved me from death, or at least saved me from a suicide attempt.

On the balance of it I wasn’t sure what was worse, the pain going untreated or the devastating long term effect that these drugs had on my weight and happiness. Don’t get me wrong it wasn’t just steroids that led to my weight and body image issues, it was the illness itself limiting my mobility & independence and compromising my mental health.

From diagnosis to the current day which is 8 years, I have gained 8 stone. That’s hard to admit… hard to acknowledge and even harder to look in the mirror. But in the last 8 weeks I have lost the 1^st 2 stone of my goal to shed 9 stone. But that battle will be the topic of another post I’m sure.

Beginning this fight against my weight in the last 2 months I would have done anything possible to avoid steroids, even tolerating the worse pain known to man. Such is my drive to get fit again and also my ‘hatred’ for steroids.

But last weekend… all that changed

Steroids are now my friends (well mostly). Last weekend I was diagnosed with a condition called secondary Addison’s disease. In basic terms, this means that my body is not producing the natural steroids my body needs. Without taking oral and injectable steroids for the rest of my life I would die.

Until the 1940’s this medication did not exist, and people did die from Addisons Disease… Jane Austin being a famous example.

I cried my eyes out last weekend when the reality of a long life with steroids was thrown at me, but as the week has gone on I have acknowledged the fight in me to loose the weight despite the steroids. More importantly I am concentrating on the ‘long life’ – this time in a very different way steroids are going to save my life… how can I be too angry with them!?