Have you seen the Disney Pixar film 'Up'? I love it, it's such a beautifully animated film with a touching and heart warming story.
The iconic image of the film is the home of a couple who have had a long and happy marriage floating away into a blue sky by hundreds of brightly coloured balloons.
The iconic image of the film is the home of a couple who have had a long and happy marriage floating away into a blue sky by hundreds of brightly coloured balloons.
This image is in my mind a lot at the moment. Not because of the film per se, more because of the meaning I have associated with that flying house with it's colourful balloons.
To me that house is my life; a happy (mostly) life that I share with my family. The balloons are beautiful, they mean my house; my life can fly! The balloons represent financial security, friendships, good health, employment, fertility, emotional well being. All the things most people take forgranted that make our lives spectacular and beautiful.
What I know now...
Now here is the but Disney didn't tell you! Is that the balloons can burst and when all the balloons burst, when you feel that everything that makes your life so beautiful and colourful has gone, you are left with nothing but you. You don't always stand alone, sometimes you have and things left who are close enough that they are in the beautiful little old house with you.
All that colour may have gone and your life may no longer float along in a clear blue sky but you are still here. The house is still standing. For me, who finds myself there now... With the last balloons all burst... When I open the front door to that little house, I find that it's still colourful and filled with light and life... Just not in such an obvious way.
I have lost so so so much to cluster headaches. More than I could recall or articulate. Cluster headache has gone around with a big pin and burst all my pretty balloons. But not everything. It didn't burn my house down! I genuinely have not lost anything to cluster headaches that can't be replaced. There are many things that have been lost that leave me heartbroken and grieving... And probably always will.
But I have what I need! I have who I need! I have reached rock bottom... But honestly this feels better. The last balloon to go was controlled by us, so it was a smooth landing not a crash landing! The crash landing that we have had daily anxiety about for years! The house is firmly on the ground... We can breathe for a while and work out how to rebuild all the damaged part of our life.
So if you will excuse me I have some balloons to blow up! I'm taking this broken life to the clear blue skies again. Just you watch me!
All that colour may have gone and your life may no longer float along in a clear blue sky but you are still here. The house is still standing. For me, who finds myself there now... With the last balloons all burst... When I open the front door to that little house, I find that it's still colourful and filled with light and life... Just not in such an obvious way.
I have lost so so so much to cluster headaches. More than I could recall or articulate. Cluster headache has gone around with a big pin and burst all my pretty balloons. But not everything. It didn't burn my house down! I genuinely have not lost anything to cluster headaches that can't be replaced. There are many things that have been lost that leave me heartbroken and grieving... And probably always will.
But I have what I need! I have who I need! I have reached rock bottom... But honestly this feels better. The last balloon to go was controlled by us, so it was a smooth landing not a crash landing! The crash landing that we have had daily anxiety about for years! The house is firmly on the ground... We can breathe for a while and work out how to rebuild all the damaged part of our life.
So if you will excuse me I have some balloons to blow up! I'm taking this broken life to the clear blue skies again. Just you watch me!
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